that fresh feeling

A good friend set off for his new life yesterday, by driving towards Minneapolis. After the hustle of packing, loading, farewell gatherings, last-minute item finding and him finally leaving, there was an unsettling solitude that blanketed my state of mind.

It's different, sending someone off, who's going overseas to study, or on work placement. There's a sense that they'll be back after their course is done, or least visit home ever so often. But when someone uproots completely and is actually moving away, there's really no future planning. No 'I'll see you when you come back over Christmas then!', and promises to visit are tenuous at best.

So I found myself sitting on the porch late yesterday afternoon, watching long fingers of sunrays stretch over the plants. Those who know me know this is my favourite time and light of the day. Everything's aglow, backlit with this soft-focus light. Cool breezes dull the harshness of the afternoon sun, yet there's enough residual warmth to permeate up from the ground. In between snatches of musics and random phrases from eels songs, I realise that I'm actually quite mournful. There is genuine happiness about the trajectory towards positivity that his life is taking, but I just cannot shake off the feeling that something quite substantial is gone from my life.


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